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THE JOURNEY
of how far we came, in words of mine.

It was all in His plans for me to study in Sydney. Now that I'm here, it's up to me to shine His light.

FLIGHT 818 .




unspoken .





credits .

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FLY AWAY TO SYD
on the journey to Sydney.

4 years in Sydney is an awefully long time.
Catch me before I fly away, cause I'm having the time of my life.
Friends come and go, but the close ones never part irregardless of the distance.


Friday, October 31, 2008
01:29

"Cause I'm freeee, free-falling ... "

It's over, those last 5 days. I've suffered a lack of sleep, headaches, and mood swings. My poor housemate has to bear the blunt of most of it. A grouchy Shu is one you should never step on. The idea of having to be at 150% concentration when you're studying and then perform for the exams. In the end, I think I screwed up. Should be able to pass the exams, but I know I can't ask for more. I deserve the stupid grades I get this semester.

One more Econometrics paper left on the 13th. I'm going to start early, I dont want to go through the same torture again.

-

Did housework tonight. I just felt that my room was too dirty, so was the living room. Great workout. Ironed all my clothes too. Was running out of "lok cok" things to wear. Now my room is neat and clean. Wanted to take a photo of the before and after. But I believe my camera's battery went bonkers. Need a new one soon, so that I can start taking photos.

Unlike last year, I dont want to count down till the day I fly home. I'll know it when I have to fly. For now, let me chill for one day and get some sleep.


Thursday, October 30, 2008
00:44

I AM ALMOST THERE. almost, nearly.

3 more chapters to go. I want to sleep by 3ish so that I can have at least 3 hours of sleep. The time now reads 1245am. And I'm so afraid I cannot wake up tmrr. But that is the least of my concerns now. 3 more + bathe!


Wednesday, October 29, 2008
17:11

ARGGHHH.
I RATHER DIE THAN TAKE THE EXAMS TMR.
SIMPLY NO TIME.
:(
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHT I'M STUDYING NOW.
--
Yuzhen >> exams, exams, exams. not very good. :/ but it'll be over in 24hours. or less.
--
Remember: Pressured, not stressed.


Tuesday, October 28, 2008
22:33


I drank cough syrup so that I can fall alseep by 1130pm. Call me crazy. Haha. I've done that before. I need all the rest I can get tonight. Portfolio and Macro can go for a holiday until 12pm tmrr.

Oh, and technically I only took 48hrs (inclusive of sleep) to study finish Accounting 2b (9 Chapters) ! That in itself is an achievement, and even more so because it is Accounting 2b. I really hope I can remember all that I've learnt.

Note to self: Never try this ever again. So tough on the body. I almost thought I couldn't survive. 24hours seems like a week long. Sitting on your chair, knowing you have to finish reading and memorising the text in front of you before moving on to the next chapter. Not to mention I;ve suffered headaches and near-migraines along the way. Well, at least I didn't turn to drinking or wanting to smoke along the way!


-

I'm still sad over the fact that the Eric Clapton's Slowhand Concert Tickets were sold out within 5 days. I really wanted to go for the concert. What's left are the most expensive tickets of $399.90. Sigh. Next March, I'll be so sad becuase I should have been there. :( And yea, that if less motivation for me to study. hurhur.

-




Paul's birthday 2 weeks back.
Such a pretty photo. The best of the night. :)
I want to be in a playground now.
-


Fuzzy says Goodnight. :)


-

Yanho >> Thank you and study hard. I can't wait to see you back in Singapore. :D



15:38

I'm so tired. Slept at 5ish last night, and woke up at 1045am. And it wasn't a pleasant sleep. I was tossing and turning throughout. So tired at the thought of the exams that I want to give up now and go and play. seriously. I'm losing my insanity. Ain't even studying properly now. The last 2 chapters of Consolidation - Minority Interests. Ewww. 40 more slides to go only.... sigh. I need a lollipop now.


Monday, October 27, 2008
22:07

Put your seatbelts on, cause Shu is in for the rollercoaster ride of her life. And you might not see her alive thereafter, so please take a moment and pray this final pray with her.

-

If God is not with me now, then there is only doom that awaits me, cause all that I need now is Godspeed.


13:38

Some call it playing your cards, others call it playing with fire; I call it being friendly. :)

-

Went to school for consultation this morning. Drank a double shot Mocha. Motivated to study now! FINALLY. But I'm also left with 36 hours or even less. Okay. Bye. No time to waste.


01:33

Darn, now that I'm in a mood to study, I'm terribly sick. All I want to do all day is sleep and sleep. When will I get that? Sigh.


Sunday, October 26, 2008
16:53

Been sick - coughing, and have been feeling a bit cold, so I reckon the fever is coming. Ate like flu tablets and drank cough syrup when I came home after church this morning. And I had the weirdest of dreams. It felt so surreal, and for a moment I was lost in time. More of that please...

The dream:
I was on this mission for this Very Important Person (VIP). This VIP had supernatural powers too, and it doesn't help that there is this person after his life. So, I was on my way to meet this VIP, when the killer thought that I was him, and started going after me. The killer shot me and I fell to the ground, and then he realised that he got the wrong person, so he moved on. I don't know how long I stayed on the ground, but the next thing I knew, VIP found me and brought me to his hotel room.

VIP then proceeded to heal me with his supernatural powers. I felt like I was really being treated cause I drifted in and out of sleep. Then at one point in time, it felt as though someone was trying to dispel all my phelgm out of my throat. Like I can feel the phelgm literally coming upwards. In my dream, I spit it out. Obviously I didn't, cause my bed will be dirty. Then I coughed, so I woke up from my dream.

When I fell asleep again, this VIP and his whole bunch of protectors, some of them I recognise by face, were ready to head out. Their plan is to lure the killer out again and carry on with his mission. In between, there was also this old man and a young child - boy playing on the top of the building.

... (I forgot the fighting and luring part, but we won after some deception)

The after party was weird! I was taking photos with my friends when my whole family came down and we started taking photos together. Like weird and hilarious photos that you would only do with your friends. Ha.

...

The next thing I knew, I was awake... What a dream.

Alright, now that I'm alive and kicking, I'm going to start my work for the day! Ha.

-

Watched Breakfast at Tiffany's yesterday. Felt that it was overated though. I can't figure out what's the hype about it. Then again, it was filmed in 1961 and we are in the year 2008.

Making plans to go for the Eric Clapton Concert next March. Must be kiasu a bit and book tickets now. Cause I'm getting the cheapest ticket and so I want the best seats out of the lot! haha.

-

Have been eating porridge. Will be eating porridge. How healthy am I?


Friday, October 24, 2008
23:45

The world has never stopped spinning, but we choose to believe that it did. Likewise, having setbacks isn't the life-threatening. As a matter of fact, it teaches you something new each time, helping you to grow as a person. As much as you detest it, its beneficial. So why choose the easy way out all the time? No one gets lucky all the time, its how you deal with it that counts.

With that, I on the other hand have to learn how to let go. Even if I want to be Salvation Army, I have to recognise my limits first. I've taken on a new hobby of shouldering other people's burden, of being a Good Samaritan. I feel good doing it, and I love helping out whenever I can. But if this comes at an expense of affecting others, then I'm not so sure. The last thing I want is to pass on the extra responsibilities I've taken up to others... Help within your own limits!

-

So, accounting exam is on wednesday, and i've yet to start on it.
-smiles innocently, hoping that the guilt will go away NOW.


16:56

NEW TEMPLATE-
in the midst of exams. :D

I like it. But this also means that I haven't been studying. :/


15:59

What starts out great does not necessarily end up in greatness. What matters is the process. If only people understood that...


00:01

I decided that black is too dull for my liking. Hence this colour to brighten my day. Going to change the whole template soon. After exams!


Thursday, October 23, 2008
23:22

Cold like winter.
Sick like a puppy.
Lazy like a pig.

We'll get lost together - Lost; Michael Buble


Wednesday, October 22, 2008
23:12

Passion World Tour 2008 - Sydney
21 October 2008

I'm so glad I went for the concert even though I had lots of work to do and I didn't do work today either. Stressed yet not very. It's hard to describe but I know I'm not alone.

Louie Giglio, Chris Tomlin, David Crowder Band.
Awesome Combination.
Worship was great too.
And, I got in for free.
Not complaining at all.

Yesterday and today, you're the One. Your grace is all that I need.

I made a few big decisions within the past 24 hours.
Letting go, living righteously, and some other decisions which I think is the right. I think he'll be proud of me for doing it. Glad for an understanding Mum. Only 2 sentences said and she understood completely. No questions asked, just a Yes- Alright.

See, it wasn't that hard, wasnt it?

I don't know what will happen in the coming few months, I wouldn't know how everything will work out, but it will.


Tuesday, October 21, 2008
13:12

9.5/1o for my accounting test! Yay!
Woke up at 630am today to study a bit before going to school. Couldn't survive my Econometrics lecture. Came home early for an hr of nap. Drifted in and out through the 1 hr, but it felt great. :)


Monday, October 20, 2008
20:12

Shuwen needs her mummy now!
to cook food for her and wake her up for classes and exams.

-

Overslept today. terrible x1 !
Drank 2 cups of long black. terrible x2 !
Stomach was churning due to the excessive long black and other factors. terrible x3 !
Lack of sleep. terrible x4 !
Its official that she failed and did miserably for 2624 mid-sems. terrible x5 !
Wrote something wrong in Macro class test. terrible x6 !
Another group in 2624 presented exactly the same thing as we did. terrible x7 !

Sian.

Managed to get 9/10 for macro presentation and essay weeks ago.
2624 presentation is over.
Yay!


01:33

An unparalleled talent.
Not many can attempt it, let alone achieve it.
It is usually accompanied by the f word.
The tally count now:
- 1 cup
- 1 light plane
- 1 big plate
- 1 bowl
The funny thing is, the talent only activates when I'm stressed.


Sunday, October 19, 2008
22:02

i'm so fucking stressed that i actually find playing freecell destressing. the next ten days determines my fate. i need all the help i can get. and all the supernatural power i can get.


13:29

He's with me all these time. He told me to stop and listen previously. And at service today, he taught me how to do it.; how to stop and relax.

:D
Thank you.

-

Drank my first Long Black of the semester. A bit too late, but i have 10 days to make this right. Long Black signifies the starting point. Dang, I should have started drining long black days ago.


Saturday, October 18, 2008
17:58

- Cleaning up of my apartment
- Rearranging the layout of my room in hope that it stimulates me to study
- Yun Hsiu's 21st
- SSA meeting
- Nory's 22nd

Nothing pertaining to work has been done the past couple of days. terrible terrible! I think this warrants a FAIL from me. Sigh.


Thursday, October 16, 2008
22:08

i don't want to not know you.
i can't not know you.


21:43

Just read through a friend's blog who is on an exchange in Europe now. She's happily exploring the place, taking photos and all. And then I ask, why aint I doing that too? i.e. taking lots of photos, blogging about the wonderful and different things in Sydney.

And Shu always has an answer or an excuse to everything. So here it is: I've assimilated into the culture here. This is my home for the next few years, so its gotten boring in a way. Been to restaurants, tried to explore a bit. Travelling and all. I've yet to stop, but it has gotten boring.

And yet I hear His voice talking to me: You've been running around the whole year, you have yet to stop. You've been distracting yourself, escaping. It's about time to stop.


Wednesday, October 15, 2008
15:28

do you think a script can be marked wrongly? or someone keyed wrongly for my student no. or my script marks?

BECAUSE i just failed 2624. eff. and to think i thought i did quite well.


Monday, October 13, 2008
23:48

How hard is it to talk to me on the phone for 10-15mins?
I waited the whole night, and when you were ready, I was too angry and it was too late.


Sunday, October 12, 2008
23:19

if today was anything to go by, i hope it marks a brand new start.

20 years on, i'm reborn. past glories aside, its time i live life for myself. there will not be any regrets. thank you for all you've given me, but enough is enough. there has to be an end, and this is it.


01:16

for one too many reasons, my back is sore. it hurts and i cant sit down properly at all. even sitting upright is a chore for me now. lying in bed is the best solution. but how can i study like that?

for the numerous times in my life, i hate badminton for screwing up my body. medals and glory are for the moment. the only thing that last are the permanent injuries you sustain.


Saturday, October 11, 2008
00:06

I see a different you when I'm observing you from far. I see it in everyone too. And suddenly, I'm awake, enlightened by the fact that I can be so blinded all the time. Yes, I aim to be enlightened all the time. But the question arises, do I want to be enlightened? Do I really want to see these things in them? Then it dawns on me, I've been lying to myself all these while.


Tuesday, October 07, 2008
22:07

Back from Melbourne and tired. I just want to sleep everyday. Feeling so lethargic. :(

Melbourne was both good and bad. I managed to take some time of everything, yet found enough time to understand myself and my limits better. Things happened in Melbourne, and I can only learn from it. I can't do everything on my own, even if I can control my own fate, I cannot interfere in others. Not that I want to anyway. But I also learnt that my strength alone is not enough to help those around.

This Badminton competition has also pushed me back to square one. Injuries and failures. One thing I know for sure is that unlike previously, I won't bounce back on the Badminton courts. It's over. My body is calling it quits after a decade, and I need to focus on rehabilitation. Plus, I think I've embarrassed myself enough in this tournament and I should have stopped last year, with a bang. It's insulting to the sport I hold in high esteem.

At the end of the day, why did I even succumb to pressure and say Yes?

-

Just received my exam timetable and booked my flight back to sydney. Lets just say, its a lousy timetable, but I'm also fortunate for it.

-

Aight, drinking my wine now, and ready for bed.